Chapter One of the Great Story

Entry:  31 October, 2013
I Am There....I Am Here.....I Am Yours


A breeze gently blowing against your skin
And wherever you are the wind whispers
A kiss for your heart that is still your heart
Rhythm of life that is still your life
....::whispers soft to you::.....I am here.

A kiss on my cheek
In a dream, all too real
For the ache, for the want, for the tears
Kept within my heart while being apart.
....::whispers soft to me::.....I am here.

The river that joins us forever flowing
Beginning again as new
The verse and chapter, now and hereafter
I've always been here, so have you
....::whispers soft to both::...I am here.

No matter where or how the world crumbles
Conspiring to keep us apart
Even when gone we still hear the songs
There's no end when you listen and hear
....::whispers soft heart to heart::...I am here.

When I sleep, I am dreaming of you.  When I wake, I am thinking of you.  When I breathe, I am praying for you.  Until you return....whenever you do....I am waiting for you.
It is my choice, my freedom willingly surrendered, my honor willingly given......to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozlr3F60T6I
Listen to the Wind, Harley Westenra

Time is a river that flows endlessly
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream

Shadows dance behind the firelight
And all the spirits of the night remind us:
We are not alone

Tomorrow: a sun soon rising
And yesterday is there beside us
And it's never far away

If you listen to the wind you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind, there's no end to my...

Love is forever a circle unbroken
The seasons keep changing; it always remains

Spring will melt the snows of winter
And the summer gives us days of light
So long till autumn makes them fade

Remember the sound of laughter
We ran together through the meadows
Still we thought our hearts could break

If you listen to the wind, you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind and I'll send you my love

Listen to the wind where the sky meets the land
I'm not really gone I've been here all along
High up in the trees in the sound of the leaves
Listen to the wind there's no end to my...

Time is a river that flows to the sea
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream.

 

 

 

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Entry: 05 October, 2013
Reflections On A Dance

Go slow....I want to go slow...but my heart says this one is real, this one is different, this one....this one is the mirror cracked and still has chosen to live, to try, to kiss....and my ever hopeful foolish heart wants to believe again.  Hold me.  Hold me back.  I don't want to cry again.  But I do so want to love.  Can you have one without the other?  Even after all this life I've had, I still do not know. 

He is an enigma, a contradiction, a man possessed of a warrior's brawn and a poet's soul, fear in his name, yet gentle in his touch.  Could one dance tell me so much?  No, but he quotes Lewis and reads Tolkein and settles a belief in a time for every purpose under heaven.  After all I learned about him, at the end of the dance I knew nothing more than that, and that was not enough.

I know one thing:  we love alike - bold, without restraint, headstrong and headlong into the wind of the hurricane, believing.  Holding nothing back, we forge ahead, and suffer the consequences when where we choose to plunge drops us all the way to the bottom. But people like that...like us...God takes a special interest in and lets us find each other.  A smile, a touch, a kiss....a dance....and there survives the best kind of honesty that binds the wounds and stops the bleeding, if only for a little while. 

I know something else, too.
I want more.

Sanctuary

Entry:  4 October, 2013
Sanctuary

When the night is starless in its guise
When the day begins with dread
When the words are hard against the walls
When uncertainly I tread
When the world confused and anguished comes
Crashing into my head
Its in the depths of your heart where my soul
Finds sanctuary instead.

Home is a sanctuary where one finds a shelter from the harsh glare of the world. 
Home is where the people that love you....and you love in return....are. 
Home is where we can breathe, where we find relief at the end of the day, where we can laugh and cry and sing and play and.....talk.....

My sanctuary....
My touchstone...
My lion......
Your soulshine is the lamp that lights my way back from that long dark night of the soul.....

Be home safe and soon....for my great relief of having you to talk to....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEKPpJ_DHxs

Come
And talk of all the things we did today
Here
And laugh about our funny little ways
While we have a few minutes to breathe
Then I know that it's time you must leave

But darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

And now
A quarter of my life is almost past
I think I've come to see myself at last
And I see that the time spent confused
Was the time that I spent without you
And I feel myself in bloom

So darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

Darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

Go
And beat your crazy head against the sky
Try
And see beyond the houses and your eyes
It's ok to shoot the moon

So darling
My darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

(written by John Sebastian, originally performed by the Lovin Spoonful)

Stormbringer Hawk

Entry:  2 October, 2013
Stormbringer Hawk


He comes.
Circles in the sky by a black dot, his shrill fierce call of danger to those around, a warning from a worthy opponant, as he slowly slices through the air and scatters others who immediately flee from him.
He makes one pass directly overhead, low and slow,  turns, and comes back the other way, a menacing lifeless eye trained upon me as he passes.

I nod slowly to him, a nod of respect, a nod of invitation.  He is a survivor and there is something admirable about that.  He flourishes in a life apart and alone.  There is something starkly beautiful about that, and him.  He lives the life he was born to, lives it in all its glory and abundance.  He has much to teach and I much to learn. 

But not this day. 

I watch as he turns, heading out into the wild blue of somewhere else, slowly receding from my view.

A burst of immense thunder invades the austere silence of the scene.  The air is thick and dark with danger.  I back up, out of the waters, until I am standing in the coolness of the sand.  In the blink of an eye, in the quickness of a breath, all has changed.
I feel him.
Like a sudden bolt of lightning that splits the sky in two, immediate and thorough, its job to tear the veil between the worlds of here and there.
A blade plunged into my heart with such precision that I only feel it when it is withdrawn.
Cut me open.
Gone as quickly as it came.
I do not know where.  Or how.  Or what.
He who brings the storms.
He who holds my future, but wants it not.
I keep bleeding.
He is the reason.
For this....for him....I have come.
I keep bleeding love.

Stormbringer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRt0sg5LrOo

 Comin out of nowhere
 Drivin like rain
 Stormbringer dance
 On the thunder again
 Dark cloud gathering
 Breaking the day
 No point running
 cause its coming your way
 Ride the rainbow
 Crack the sky
 Stormbringer coming
 Time to die
 Got to keep running
 Stormbringer coming
 Hes got nothing you need
 Hes gonna make you bleed
 Rainbow shaker
 On a stallion twister
 Bareback rider
 On the eye of the sky
 Stormbringer coming down
 Meaning to stay
 Thunder and lightning
 Heading your way
 Ride the rainbow
 Crack the sky
 Stormbringer coming
 Time to die
 Got to keep running
 Stormbringer coming
 Hes got nothing you need
 Hes gonna make you bleed
 Coming out of nowhere
 Drivin like a-rain
 Stormbringer dance
 On the thunder again
 Dark cloud gathering
 Breaking the day
 No point running
 cause its coming your way

A Dove's Song

Entry:  1 October, 2012
A Dove's Song

A DOVE'S SONG

Morning comes
And with it illumination
Clarity as sleep fades, peace left in a heart
That once unknown as to purpose
Now beats strong and steady again.
Moving on into Day whatever she might bring
And that with wonderous expectation.

Morning comes
And now its a gateway to whatever comes next
A looking up, looking forward,
Not around at same old
Stuck in the choice of paths that led each one to only endings
With no way to deviate,
nor behind in what was loved
but now is passed,
gone save for memory,
and that a place where no one can live for long.

Morning sings
Melody of the white dove
As she treads the wind onward in her flight
She goes on
Life goes on
Reminder of something almost forgot,
Songs sung to herald out the best message of simply being.

Morning sings
Rhythm of a new day
Beating of a heart given to life
Beside my own,
Promise to guard that heart of great grace
With all that I am and all that I shall ever be,
Echoes of my own reverberations
Rushing to syncopation in tandem drumming
Both kin and close to the symphony of being
No matter where
No matter how far apart.
Temporary status for beings such as we,
Graceful enough to love and dream
Beneath the willow tree.

This is a new day.....be in love with her......be at peace with her.

Two Horses

Entry:  25 September, 2013
Two Horses

TWO HORSES graze companionably, one ahead a short distance from the other. They stand apart, but never far away. If you stand for a while and watch them, you will see the one in front positioning his body as a shield, glancing often to be sure the one behind is safely there.

He is needed.

If you stand a little longer and watch them move slowly over the grass, you will see the one behind occasionally walk up close, gently touch her nose to flank of the first, dispelling his anxiousness.

She is needed.

Heads remain bent close to earth, attentive to their separate tasks, ears flick occasionally, tails switch softly. Independent lives, yet they never lose contact one with the other. Thus such touches, or a scent of the air given one to the other in the age-old way of knowing presence, these silent communiqués between them keep them close throughout the days and nights, for they can only survive together.

One is a melody, one is a harmony, both needed to complete the symphony of whispers upon the wind.

One a touchstone for the other, the other wisdom for the one, theirs is a symbiotic connection of spirit across the great divide, saying more in silence than all the words ever spoken.

This is that higher love that only few are privileded to find and know and keep.

This is connection of the heart.

 

 

Morning Comes

Entry: 20 September, 2013
Morning Comes

 

“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”
~Og Mandino .

 

 

All these things he taught me, so I cannot be sad.  Between us, we loved most the sun, the rain, the moon and the stars.  And Spain, of course.  He told me to go and kiss my horse and walk out into the sun.  He wished me happiness always.  How can I feel loss with words like that? 

 

He made me think and want to write again.

He made me dance and want to love again.

He made me breathe and want to live again.

 

From a godless man I learned so much about God....so much that I wonder if he was really godless after all, or merely saying that for the benefit of my own growth potential.  (It would be like him, so cheeky cheeky!)

 

And when he held his mirror up to show me how he saw me, I saw who I wanted to be...the best me.  I thought I was lost, but he showed me differently, when he did that.  Like Rumi's truth, I found myself in his mirror because I wasn't listening to my voice anymore.  I was listening to him.

 

So I choose to love.  I have decided.  There's no taking that back, just as there's no taking back what he was, what he is and what he will always be....my pearl of great price! 

 

Nothing puts distance between a heart that has decided to love you & your own, not time nor space nor dimension nor any other thing of the universe, no matter what you do or do not do. Love once born always is. Eternally.

 

So we shall dream beneath our willow trees and wake to find rainbows in their boughs, all of light in one arc, one place.  There's no need to go searching for a heart's desire, when that heart was never really lost to begin with, because its right in your own backyard, or between your ribcage, however you wish to think of it. 

 

I'm open to it.

Feel.

Think.

Breathe.

What is the square root of a triangle?

And how long will you love me?

 

Siempre, mi amor.

Siempre......

 

 

 

The Mirror's Truth....lyrics to "Mirror" sung by Justin Timberlake

"We can’t find the Truth only listening to our own voice’s echo. We can find ourselves only in someone’s mirror." ~~~ Rumi


 

Gift of the Dove

Gift of the Dove

Entry:  11 September, 2013

Gift of the Dove

"The dove's song is its most distinctive characteristic. The voice of the dove is the rain song. Out of its mourning it invokes new waters of life. Its song should remind us that no matter what our life conditions, new waters and new life are still possible. Although its song is heard throughout the day, it seems more distinct at dawn and dusk. These are the "between times" - a time in which there is a thinning of the veils between the physical and the spiritual, the past and the future. Dove tells you to mourn what has passed, but awaken to the promise of your future. As a bird of prophecy it can help you see what you can give birth to in your life." ~~~ from Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews

 

A dove among hawks brings a treasure but you must be willing to search for her.......

 

 

 
Shards of sunlight flash against the white wings of a solitary flight, momentary prisms of all light, merely the absence of dark, spectrum spewing color across the earth below in rainbow curves.

The dove flies.

Swoosh of wind uplifting her higher into heaven where man has always gazed for proof of others, holding back the panic that he is alone and so very very small.

She circles the stars.

Tiny pinprick holes of hope punched into the unknown, but there up there where there has to be something, if not better, else that lies dormant.

And heads back to reality.

For one brief shining moment to escape the bonds of earth as something more, deeply profound,

Among what men’s eyes will see.

Something tucked beneath her wing,

Embedded in her feathers there,

Her message to be delivered.

        A creature of the sea, round and smooth, once alive and of the sand

        Perfect circle of no beginning and no ending just of being

        Etched upon its surface a story

        Hieroglyphics left of ancient warriors

        But who can read that now, with all so long dead and flung back into dust?

Dove knows.

She wings her way toward the one of there can be only One

All others forsaken by the allure of salvation

And return visits to the scene of the past.

Sound a barrier no more as her speed breaks it

Shattering the perfect circle

Breaking open the gift from the sea

Breaking her heart with the words of no…..

A tragedy.

Or is it?

        New beginnings come from endings evermore

        Until it is Wisdom herself whose offeratory is sung by the disbeliever.

        There really are no endings at all, Child, don’t you see?

        The sand dollar has given birth in flight

        To a multitude of heavenly host

        Mirror images of the dove herself

        Born knowing how to fly,

        And spreading out before the mother in dots of tiny diamonds

        Precious gems gliding in their newborn life like fireflies on the wind,

        Sprinkling the earth with their little deaths as they crash.

Souls shine on and on and on like that.

Because it only matters what’s on the inside.

And if you shatter in the process of this thing called life,

The one who can be only One will find you.

His smile will put you back together

And set you upright again, upright and walking

Into the sun.